The Short Dictionary of Politics

This was published 2006 with a few additions since. Below is the updated version.

Please note, this is not exhaustive list. Readers are invited to submit suggestions for further installments.

Also, there are no claims to originality. I do not want to be part of the company of Ambrose and Kearns-Goodwin (non sum dignus), so some of the ideas I assimilated (e.g. the civil rights entry), I just don't remember from where.


Assisted Suicide: The ultimate reform of the Social Security System. If senior citizens utilize assisted suicide en masse, the system's solvency can be greatly enhanced.

Bombing: Diplomatic method preferred by US Government policy makers pioneered during the Clinton administration.

British Royal Family: Founder of the family, William, started out as Capo di Tutti Capi of Norman Mafia. Descendants and others built the organization into a successful franchise over centuries, despite family infighting. Today, family has no real role as they have been kicked upstairs to mainly ceremonial positions. Currently undergoing branding crisis as members are not terribly appealing as celebrity material. Family should consider new ways of appealing to public. Should seek the assistance of Mr. Frank McCourt who turned a stupid and unappealing childhood into an industry.

Change: 1. Old, To transform or convert. 2. New, Politically, whatever you want it to mean.

Civil Rights: In truth, there can only be three: Life, Liberty and Property. Anything else is the attempt of one group to secure privileges at the expense of another group or society itself. Of the three above, Property is the most important. If the individual's property is secure, there is little reason for anyone to take his life or liberty.

Communism: Natural religious progression wherein lower caste man is made into his own god and enslaved in his own name. Lasted far longer than could possibly have been expected. Still claims believers in the professorate.

Democratic Party: American cargo cult masquerading as a political association.

Demagogue: Person who appeals to the emotions to gain power or fame. See also: Politician.

Department of Education: American cabinet secretariat responsible for extracting money from the public while convincing them that the decline in public education is being arrested. Judging from the department's growth amidst continuing school failure, policy is an unmitigated success.

Election: Auction in advance of stolen goods. (With thanks to H.L. Mencken)

Equality: In nature, an impossibility among the human species, which despite evidence is almost universally desired.

Feminism: Formerly a movement to secure women rights to opportunities not generally open to them. Today, the movement exists to secure power for women who attend highly selective institutions. Practical effect has been disastrous for less highly placed women who now have access to the same stupid and boring occupations men have had to do for eons. Current philosophy is heavy on misandry. The religious aspect of the cult has one sacrament.

Green Party: So far, only significant role has been vehicle for Ralph Nader, Ross Perot of the left.

Her Majesty's Government: Political wing of the British Army.

Iron Law of government: Everything eventually reduces to its absurd. If this is an actual law of physics that exists in nature is not known. In politics and government, it cannot be denied. Whereas in business a company can go bankrupt (unless it is publicly favored), in the realm of government, if (actually, when is more appropriate) a program attains absolute failure, it becomes a candidate for increased funding (e.g. DARE,).

Nazi: Common smoke screen name for National Socialist German Workers Party, the German variant of socialism. The success of this party in bringing ruin to most of Europe, its own population, as well as racial enemies cannot be gainsaid. Its accomplishment was so complete that the whole enterprise collapsed after only thirteen years of operation, whereas the Soviet version started decades earlier and met its demise several decades later. Impresario of German Socialism was Adolph Hitler, a man with the soul of a ward boss who nevertheless was able to foist his program on a nation with near universal literacy and a very high degree of advanced education. The success of the program, along with golf, argues against the continued progress of evolution. Despite the socialist nature of the ideology, other socialists have had amazing success in making sure National Socialism is not identified as the philosophical soul brother it is.

Political Correctness: A fear of knowledge. Under the regime of political correctness as practiced in the United States and some other nations, any evidence disproving accepted doctrine must be denied, if not suppressed. (via Steve Sailer)

Politician: In the American democracy, generally a person who lies in seeking election to public office because there is ample evidence of little profit in speaking the truth (e.g. would Woodrow Wilson have been reelected if his slogan had been "He's hasn't got us into war yet, but, he intends to"?). See also demagogue.

Populist: Highest form of demagogue.

Reform: Word has no real meaning yet is impossible to oppose. The question, "Are you against x reform?" can never be answered negatively without destroying politically one who so answers no matter the actual value of the reform proposed. The word's greatest value is that it is as an accurate marker for poseurs (e.g. John McCain).

Republican Party: American political association with no other permanent purpose than to secure executive positions, legislative posts and patronage emoluments.

Reverend: 1. Title marking certain persons who after serious study and piety are ordained as suitable to lead and instruct the faithful. 2. Honorific applied to certain class of charlatans (examples: Rev. Paisley, Rev. Sharpton, Rev. Jackson)

Revolution: A method by which one elite manipulates the masses to transfer power from another elite due to real or perceived oppression. The success or failure of the revolutionary party, once the ancien regime is overthrown, depends on how well they manage their transition from belief in ideology to practical management of the entity they have stolen.

Self-esteem: the psychological notion used to justify rampant egotism (with help from Theodore Dalrymple)

Social Security: The perfection of a system discovered by a Signor Ponzi wherein early "investors" are paid off by the subscriptions of later participants. System requires ever more contributors to stave off inevitable collapse. Due to the default of Ponzi's path breaking enterprise, he eventually suffered incarceration. Managers of our Social Security system expect no such problems as they have tools to deal with eventualities such as invisible default (i.e. one can start collecting at age 105) or monetization.

Soviet Union: Several countries that were controlled by an apparatus known as the Communist Party. For approximately seven decades said apparatus was able to rob the people in their own name. Went out of business when there was no more to rob.

Tolerance: 1. Old, permitting free expression of views one does not share. 2. New, suppression of thought, or speech found uncomfortable by favored groups.

Transgender operations: Current form of approved ritual mutilation.

University - public: A public university is mainly a large scale day care provider. Most do some practical scientific research.

University - private: Private universities are generally smaller scale day care providers. Very selective establishments exist mainly to mark the children of a certain class or wealth as members of an elite.

War on Drugs: Growth industry whose constituency is well served by the government regulations that propel it.

War on Terrorism: Campaign that will utilizing all the lessons of the drug war while also inventing its own.